Zee Bishops Collar zwon 18-8 over za Zoo. It zwas a close game until zee O-Face broke her foot. Zee gets zee Spencer award zis year. Shout outs to the men who brought the wood (no homo) to make an epic bonfire! And from the desk of "no coincidence what-so-ever", Zeebster drank directly from an old styrofoam cooler, then called out sick to the next game. LPR is many things, but not a MRSA killer sir. (+1 to anybody who gets the K-Dot reference.)
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Apologies for not updating the blog, but work has been REALLY BUSY! Where to begin? We got spanked by Catahola (again!)... T'was close in the beginning thanks in part to the defensive efforts of Tamer, but they pulled away in the end. All the bike drop-kicks from Mikey D couldn't help us! Ray-J ran the length of 4 football fields chasing down fly balls, dodging obstacles all the way. But he knows what to do... Final score: CAT 19 - BC 10 And literally 1 month ago we played the NCC and we won! (12-10) I'm not sure what went on during that game... So here's a photo of folks looking disapprovingly at my lack of blog skill. And last but not least, I was able to capture Hot Pants and her amazing technique to beat the throw at 1st. Wow! Interesting game against SPTR... (We won 62-3) After relocating from the Arabian quicksand fields to a baseball field we were ready to play. J3 was coaching 1st base and, due to him being blind, called the runner out when they were CLEARLY safe. Henceforth Jeff will be known as "Ray-J". Later in the game, with bases loaded and only one out, yours truly found himself on 2nd. Like a deer in headlights I stood frozen, watching the shortstop scoop up a ground ball then tag me and the bag simultaneously for a unassisted double play. In my defense the rules of baseball are confusing. Megan took time off from her gig as a dominatrix, but forgot to change her pants. Oh and Lion Tamer had one hell of a catch and several spectacular drops, and Gabe Ruth hit another homer.
Man! What a season thus far! RAPID RECAP TIME- The first game was a nail-bitter for a few innings, and Frank tired to kill me. Then Gabe crushed a ball and ran the bases like a guy in a Kabuki mask was chasing him... (It's what I have in my notes?) This game was called in the 6th because of The Darkness. Current score is Griffs 7 - BC 19 Next up was a CLOSE game with SPN. I have in my notes that "trying to hold Crazy Legs at 3rd is like telling Barbaro to jog" and something about "illegal street dogs"... man I have to do a better job putting these into context. Gabe Ruth did his usual thing and we had solid defense. Then our bull pen took over, and Ryan closed the game with this amazing uniform... Final score was 7-5 Monday's game was a big win at 18-9. I wasn't there, and when I asked Snicklefritz what happened she said "we won"
Then there was the time the Collar got a prime time media hit on CBS3.
AMAZING. In what will go down as the greatest CCLS story ever, J3 had several blogs and a major news outlet cover the story of Dick Mahoney. After I located the CBS3 van over at Dairy field and told him where to go, he went on to interview and shoot b-roll of the game. It was a 26-2 win over the Zoo and now we are in first place because I said so. Other exciting news is Baker got a new tattoo, and Demo aka Molicious is now known as "TWWOOT". It's pronounced like a guy with a lisp trying to imitate a train whistle. I love you guys. Don't ever change... It was a decisive 21-11 win against the dreaded Honey Badgers! Lots of offense (Evan had a homer) and great defense had us cruising to victory. (Baker had an unassisted double play that was sweeeeet!)
Evan also had one hell of a catch in outfield that saved several runs. For that he was carried off the field. Fine-man Hulked out again after a fair/foul ball discussion. He was rather polite about it. SOLID pre holiday win against the NCC. 14-2 was the final in a game that had greatness on both sides of the ball. And speaking of balls, thanks to whomever put a small lake next to our bench. It stopped a few errant throws from rolling down the hill. On the D side, Baker had a fantastic sliding basket catch in outfield. Afterwards he celebrated in his usual way.
On the O side Rob had a homer and new guy Gabe had a Monster homerun. More like "Gabe Ruth" am I right? hello? .... guys? Oh and C-Thunder had this ridiculous over-the-shoulder catch that had everyone (Mr. Wonder included) cheering. Even the Mexican on stilts hanging sheetrock was impressed. HOLY SHEEP SHIT! What a game... WHAT A GAME! Final score was 4-3. Thanks to Benzino's tip, we had great D. Robbie had a sliding basket catch to save a few runs. Our infield didn't let anything get through, with Demo and Zeebster both making great plays on hard hit balls. It was like we built a giant wall and made the Tap Room pay for it! J3 tried to use a metal bat since we had ZERO runs at the top of the 4th, but The Ginzelle called him out on it. On the offensive side, we all really enjoyed hitting pop flys to the outfield and didn't score any runs for the first few innings. Then Chocolate Thunder hit a weak grounder up the 1st base line and managed to turn it into a triple! On the next play Shiza and Mahoney decided to swap places on the base-path. In accordance with Official Baseball Rule 7.08 (h) this meant Mahoney was out. This DID NOT sit well with Benzino at all... With a Hot Pants/O-Face R.B.I we went up 4-3 in the bottom top of the 7th. The Tap Room managed to get one runner on first with 2 outs, but we held on to win! After game festivities included a great Collar Hollar and commentary about the liberal sexuality of Icelandic girls on the Tinder app.
You know, some people stand in the darkness and are afraid to step into the light, and some people need to have somebody with the edge of surrender insight. I think we can all agree Shizaman is that somebody. With the edge of surrender insight, he pranced towards the infield and promptly dropped a routine fly ball. But damn he looked good doing it. But it didn't make a difference as we went on to trounce the dreaded SPTR 13-2. Perhaps they were distracted? Lot's of offense in this one, with Big Ben a.k.a The Fine-Man a.k.a The Benzino smacking a homer. We had REALLY crazy/aggressive base-running from Mikey D and a slew of RBI's from the entire roster. Defense was truly a team effort with Molicious (she can't jump, jump) stopping a few screaming grounders, and Chocolate Thunder dominating left field. My pitching was balls deep, or so I was told. After game commentary consisted of Snicklesqueeze a.k.a the Lion Tamer recounting his weekend in South Beach Miami. Apparently, whilst at The Clevelander, one of his more mature friends put a fake poo in the swimming pool. The Cuban immigrant hotel staff didn't think it was so funny... Tuesday's victory over the SPN was more of the same dominate offense and defense. After game commentary included an interesting tidbit about Benzino.
From O-Face: "I think Greg knows the story better. But basically Ben uses a lot of lotion but doesn't like the public lotion at the sporting club. Public toilet paper is fine, not public lotion. Something like that" It's the start of the 2016 season and we are two games deep. Lets recap! NEW BLOOD! In a great off-season trade deal we acquired "Mahoney" who smacked 4 home-runs! His hitting power even scares the normally unshakable Fine-Man. We lost the season opener 9-6 vs P&P. Not really much to say about that game... RUSTY! We WON the next game 20-7 vs FG. Lots to say about this game... We played waaaaaaaay too late. I recreated my view from the mound in the 6th inning. Lots of great D this game from both the infield and outfield. The Lion-tamer and I connected on a double play, Snicklfritz had a nice pop fly catch, and Molicious snagged a blazing grounder. There were several homers on the O side! The aforementioned Mahoney, Big Ben the Fine-man and I think Robbie all swung for the fences. It was a trouncing on both sides of the ball! Game commentary consisted of how Fine-Man's mom LOVES butcher block. (Who can blame her really?) And we found out that J3 was a former street team ambassador for the now defunct Wired 96.5. OH, and we discovered that Rob (of hot pants fame) likes Beyonce almost as much as I do. BTW just in time for Beyoncé's mysterious new Lemonade event, HBO is letting non-subscribers watch a full weekend's worth of premium television for free! What a time to be alive!
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