New gear is here! Get ready to look extra fly during Hogiefest!
Dumps like a truck, truck, truck.... Sup peeps? F.Y.I. the Snicklfritz told me that she skims the blog because it's "too long". Henceforth just call me Tolstoy I guess. Anyway GREAT GAME on Monday! 14-6 win in a match dominated by stellar defensive plays and small ball offense. (Though Rob did go yard for an opposite field score due to some flower power. More on that later) But what did we learn? We we learned that Mike Z talks a big game, but is really quite shy... (but like Olivia he's a big fan of Sisqo) We learned that Danny has Mr. Fantastic like appendages, helping him snag balls out of the air and win the hearts of ladies on both sides of the mound. We learned that Rob plays great when his hat is adorned with flowers. Opposite field home run like a boss! (Flower Power is now in effect!) Finally we learned that LaNice is a defensive powerhouse, turning a quick double play, putting the nail in the TGT coffin, and winner of this weeks BIKINI OVATION! To quote someone on the bench "Call her a tampon cuz she plugs up that hole" Quotes of the evening.... These are quotes collected during and after the game so discrepancies are to be expected: (NSFW)
"Down & Hard!" - Ryan? "Your about to get your ass torn open!" unknown "I think I shit my pants" -Ben? "That guy is soooo deep" Demo "Slap her in the face... Oh that's the least I've done to her" - this was one female talking about another. I'm not sure who "You're gonna throw up or fall asleep" - Olivia discussing guys who take to long to finish. Kick ass win last night against a solid team. Crazy first inning for sure! 5 runs scored and two base running casualties! Also Listino abandoned third base coaching duties to chase the kids that were running around the field, thus making Steve's triple an out. But turns out we didn't need it! The return of Flying Flynn was all the mojo required. Defensively Molicious had a nice play on screaming grounder to end the one,two,three inning on our way to a 14-4 shellacking of the Fart Museum. But what did we learn? Well, we learned that J-Dub has Mike Schmidt-esque glove skills at 3rd base. He also enjoys catching fly balls nonchalantly much to the chagrin of the pitcher. He wins this weeks bikini ovation! We learned the proper way to call balls foul or fair. Extremely loud and with much genuflection. Oh, also our power animal/mascot is a Pegasus or a Narwhal. (we will be taking a vote next week) We learned that Frank from Art is not good at hitting under pressure. Not good at all. In fact his weak infield popup was the worst piece of hitting I've seen since Bill Bergen. A haiku....
Funny stance in jeans Too much gin make for bad swing Sad Frank wants to cry BOOMSAUCE! Great win over NCC last night. 20 something to 5 was the final score in a slug fest. After Listino gave me his glove I was able to field the ball so shouts to him. Also props to NCC dude in Left field for a crazy athletic catch to end the inning and rob a nice hit. Moving on to more important topics... what did we learn? Well, we learned that purple is the new black, and also the footwear weapon of choice for Mike Z. We learned that Frank from ART not only has a job, but looks rather nice in pants and a button down... (on a side note, check out the bruhaha between ART and TGT! CLICK) . We learned that Demo has a fear of "that shit getting all stretched out" as do we all. And we witnessed O-faces' ability to preform the perfect ass slap as documented here. And for those that missed it Rob, Listino, and several others compared notes on the various dens of sin throughout the city. Here is a handy guide if you are looking for a nite out. From the google reviews. "club onyx is the premiere strip club for people who want to spend under 22 dollars at a strip club" and "If u go ask for jada petite soft butt" ... How does one even go about that? "Excuse me...I'm looking for Jada Petite Soft Butt. I hear she's the one to ask for if I only wish to spend $22"
When I was a kid, when I was a little boy, I always wanted to be a dinosaur, I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex more than anything in the world, I made my arms short and I roamed the back yard, I chased the neighborhood cats, I growled and I roared, everybody knew me and was afraid of me, and one day my dad said "Bobby you are 17, it's time to throw childish things aside" and I said "OK Pop", but he didn't really say that he said that "Stop being a fucking dinosaur and get a job".
Raaaaaaarrrr! Great win Squad! (a close one to be sure) 8-5 was the final in what may be the shortest game of softball ever. Seriously it was over by 6:40... We witnessed the triumphant return of Greg "Shiza Man" Listino and his favorite beverage Labat Blue. Say what you will aboot Canadians, they brew exceptional lager eh? Solid D kept us in this one, Adam had a few nice snags and Rob only dropped one ball... The kick ass play of the week goes to Miz Coleman for the clutch tag out at 2nd from the sweet out-field relay. Mikey D had a nice stop at 3rd & the new guy had a great play as well. After game festivities included how to pronounce words... and a festive hollar @ the Collar.. (The risotto balls were delicious). Next up is NCC on Monday.
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June 2017
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